I don't know if I can't survive this

I don't know but recently I have this feeling
well really Its my fault that I'm not such a competitor or having a ambitious feeling
really no confidence at all, the one I proud is being me right now
someone with super simple mind, whose worries doesn't have a reason or my action sometimes doesn't have reason
I do this because its me because if You were me you wouldn't do this
This is the most rebelliou part in my life
I feel like I was deceiving everyone
"you study a lot.
no. I'm not part of you
look at me I can do this
no I dont like you! get out of my way. even everyone likes 'you'
everyone doesn't like her/him. well I Iike her/him because he's/she's fine
I dont have time to fight. you can get what u want. take it. I don't mind"


FiUUHH yup s/t I grumble mumble about that simple stuff

-The one I really wanna do is to at least know 5 languages or 10 languages
its not ambitious I said, it's curiousity
-I want to step on the 5 continents. but africa not really coz I'm afraid of too many black people around
-I want to sit on a train, reading a book which is passing through forth rail bridge
-I want to climb sidney harbor bridge
-I wanna taste the hot chocolate after climbing blue mountain in its company
-I want to hang out with my high school uniform with my friends and do crazy stuff
-I want to write again
-I want to go out and go some where just to take a picture
- I want to see key in a very clooooose distant
-I want to have the mooost beautiful kitchen in the world
-I want to have a white car
-I want to master korean, japanese, french, italy, germany, english
-I want to have crocs
-I want to taste different kind of food
-I want to go to korea french and japan lately


hahahahaha
so much to deal with, its my self wish actually, its my selfish self
cost a lot of money and hard work you know
and at least become a good doctor and bring good to my society
I do this one not for my self so I must do good
well cheer meee
cheer  me
ega! fighting!
fighting!