Time trip before going home

I often think that life was all about rush, adventure, spontanity, fun, and things like that.

Today, at class, the almighty time who was always moving forward and left me behind, showing 13.00 tattoed on its body. The lecturer was explaining things in alienesse language that I learned but not able to comprehend, yet. I was sleepy, bored, and stuck.

I looked at my left, Ili was listening to the alienesse explanation about pediatric diseases, sometimes she wrote anything important that was not in the book, but her eyes looked tired, sleepy, still, she listened. That was Ili.

I looked at my right, Tari, she was putting out from her bag, her earphone, and connected it to her turquoise cashed iPhone. One minute passed, she already listening to music that were mute to the other. Sometimes she put her head on the table, and tried hard not to fall asleep. That was Tari.

Beside Tari, there, sit Peni. She listened to the front as the lecturer was explaining and taking notes. She was bored I could tell, and sleepy, well we were all sleepy. She played with osa’s phone I did not know what she did and sometimes she talked to Tari, or Jumi right beside her. That was Peni.

Jumi, sit between Peni and, I did not know I did not remember, may be dijah, maybe manda, she put her head on the table. Closing her eyes for a minute or two while the alienesse language still playing in the background. After a while she raised again her head and tried hard again to listen. That was Jumi.

And there were Manda and Dijah sitting beside Jumi, eyes full, and focus. I guessed they spoke the alienesse language. Attention to the slides presented and sometimes talking to each other.  They were Dijah and Manda.

It was enough. I felt relaxed and content, though it was not an extreme heavy happy feeling but it was enough. It was enough to sit between them and be around them. I felt content eventhough I did not understand the alienese language taught, though I was the foolest. I lived in that moment, and I wish I could immortalized it. And for me now that life was not all about rush, adventure, spontanity, fun, and things like that again. It was about being content, being enough, being relaxed, and grateful to the time, to God, to anything around you, to anyone around you.

From PA class 2 october 2012

Trust~

One thing that I learned from travelers before me, one thing that I always agree, one thing that I love traveling so much

“Ketika kamu tidak bisa belajar apapun dalam perjalanan yang kamu lakukan maka kamu tidak lebih dari sekedar turis, perjalanmu, semua itu sia-sia”

There are some who say “It’s about the journey, not the destination” 

Last week, I went on a trip, not far, I went to Jakarta. It is only one-hour-flight from my home. However, the lesson I got from this trip was sangat berharga, totally priceless. 

I learned a lot about trust, believe, faith, whatever you might call it. Trust was something we could easily got, it could be easily forgotten, It could be easily destroyed but, it was also hard to get, It was also hard to be forgotten, It was also hard to be destroyed. It was a double-edged sword.

I trusted someone, but that someone backstabbed me, like a fool I was fooled, if it even made sense. Was money so important, more important than people in general? Why were we, human, were slaved by money? We were the one who was powerful, we were the one who made the money to become this powerful so that it could fooled us. That someone was the example of it.

Not just ‘that someone’, there were also people who took trust for granted, Y, was the example whose trust was took for granted. She was fooled by someone who sold her a ticket, but it turned out the ticket was fake. How could someone live like that?

Up until now, I still did not understand the power of money, that it even could made us turned against our own kind. I lived in society where people always did good things, respect other people, live in manner, but after that trip, I realized that the world was not that clean, It happened around us, people disregarding other people because of money, because last time I checked it only happened on TV screen, but I was wrong, so wrong.

May be I was still young, I still save in my litle box, living in good society and environment, with good people. But I now realized that we could not just trust other people without questioning, without being alert. Then after that I wondered who were people I could trust?

I came up with some list of who are people I could trust. 

People come and go. Some leave and only some bothered to stay, some might even disappeared. People change. Some might once friends, one blink, then they become an enemy, some did not trust you, some lied to you, some stabbed you in the back, some looked down on you, there were always people like that, but only some bothered to be friends with you, listen to you, trust you, respect you, make you their family, and love you just the way you are. It was dynamic. Because time was always move in its own accord. There would always be someone who was replaced and some who replaced.

And this is the list of people I could always trust, always be in my circle. They are in the family circle.

Mbak anti. Bapak. Ibuk. Dedek. Mbah kung. Mbah uti. Iwak. Yayuk. Cece.

Things grows and so does my circle.

Bulet. Zaq, ellin, paus, jumik, peni, tarjo, ilay, dini, nay, manda, dijah, Blora, vlad, aliy

And people outside the circle that has amazed me with their thought, and make me trust them, the special circle

Vidy (the one who always tell good stories and always think a lot of things, share me your bravery and boldness, I envy you)

Kevin (the one who is always humble when taught me about lesson at school, For me, dari semua orang pinter di angkatan Kevin adalah guru terbaik dengan bahasa manusia yang mudah dimengerti, there is no arrogancy in his voice when he taught us and way too good sense of humor)

Bang Nico (I don’t know why, but you are a good person, way too good)
  
and lastly
  "You know who"

Thank you to ‘that someone’ who fooled me once, I learned a lot for you. Thank you Jakarta for being the destination in this journey. One more thing about traveling, It’s always about the people.

“People who shows that they are bad people is better, at least you can defend yourself when they attack, than people who is bad but pretend to be good, then Dang!, they stab you in the back” (from trip to Jakarta, 23 September 2012)

I don't know if I can't survive this

I don't know but recently I have this feeling
well really Its my fault that I'm not such a competitor or having a ambitious feeling
really no confidence at all, the one I proud is being me right now
someone with super simple mind, whose worries doesn't have a reason or my action sometimes doesn't have reason
I do this because its me because if You were me you wouldn't do this
This is the most rebelliou part in my life
I feel like I was deceiving everyone
"you study a lot.
no. I'm not part of you
look at me I can do this
no I dont like you! get out of my way. even everyone likes 'you'
everyone doesn't like her/him. well I Iike her/him because he's/she's fine
I dont have time to fight. you can get what u want. take it. I don't mind"


FiUUHH yup s/t I grumble mumble about that simple stuff

-The one I really wanna do is to at least know 5 languages or 10 languages
its not ambitious I said, it's curiousity
-I want to step on the 5 continents. but africa not really coz I'm afraid of too many black people around
-I want to sit on a train, reading a book which is passing through forth rail bridge
-I want to climb sidney harbor bridge
-I wanna taste the hot chocolate after climbing blue mountain in its company
-I want to hang out with my high school uniform with my friends and do crazy stuff
-I want to write again
-I want to go out and go some where just to take a picture
- I want to see key in a very clooooose distant
-I want to have the mooost beautiful kitchen in the world
-I want to have a white car
-I want to master korean, japanese, french, italy, germany, english
-I want to have crocs
-I want to taste different kind of food
-I want to go to korea french and japan lately


hahahahaha
so much to deal with, its my self wish actually, its my selfish self
cost a lot of money and hard work you know
and at least become a good doctor and bring good to my society
I do this one not for my self so I must do good
well cheer meee
cheer  me
ega! fighting!
fighting!

December Wish List

1. really craving to read narnia after watching narnia

narnia

2. read Langman even just a page

3. watch CIRCUS YAY!!!!! (don't care with who, I must watch it!)

4. Try out premiere !!!!

5. Buy stationary and get my pencilcase washed

6. Pay rent fees 

 7. Record DYE new song OHOHOHO :D

DYE

 8. Study biomed and ethics properly

9. NOT REMED for PBHELL human interaction

10. have enough money to buy bday present for iwak

sunmul

11. READ Maximum RIDE 4th novel

12. go to I.A.L.F to see when is the next term started

 13. finish watching playful kiss

14. finishing juliette dance

 15. go to K.FEST on the 19 dec

16. save more money to go to s.pore, korea, japan, or netherlands next year

17. buy yellow watch 

18. be cleverer

19. watch horror movies in cinema

20. keep smiling in the next days

21. drink capuccino

 22. get properly sleep

23. have properly rest
24. cut my hair
25. buy nodame cantabille DVD

Rather than saying I’m perfectly content, I merely like myself. I’m not extremely good-looking, I don’t have a body like a model, I don’t have the best voice in the world, I’m not the best dancer. But I just like myself?

well, is it my fault for not being ambitious? no ambitious feeling?

lets smile

"I like doing / attempting new things. I imagine freedom like the sky in pink? I like funny things. I hate to think of things that can not be done, I am stubborn / persistent while I was competing. I love to read and when I'm starting to read it will be difficult for me to stop. I do not like things that are difficult and confusing; I like things neat but it is difficult for me to be neat and sometimes I think to myself. I like to plan something and dreaming of the plan will be realized. I love to give and it makes me happy when I saw the smile of people who receive the gift. At first glance I look like a strong person but in fact I often feel pain because I was young, and I prefer to keep that feeling. But there are times when I feel it culminated in the patience I can no longer stand it. Although this is a difficult time for me, I will continue my life with happiness. I know that time goes by very quickly, and I'm not going to get nothing if I do not walk fast. Time, passion, and effort is important to be able to achieve the goal. I try not to forget the Lord who created me ... .. THIS IS ME ".

Simak

Baca secara fonetik

You know, in the end you fall in love with the person who makes you smile and not with a person who the state wants you to love,”

Friendship is a process While friend is chemistry, Friend is destiny

I’m a girl, totally refuses to grow up while other at my age are competing to be mature. I don’t like to be seen as a grown up, it’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just I don’t like being complicated. I’m not yet to be a woman.
I like being simple-minded. Narrow minded-if needed
I’m still wearing sneakers while others start to wear heels. I’m still complaining and whining over smallest stuff while others started to worry about bigger stuff.

SEMINGGU DI FAKULTAS KEDOKTERAN UNAIR

buanyak orang menganggap kalo org yang masuk fakultas kedokteran itu pinter, tapi nggak semua yang lo denger itu bener, huahaha, contohnya---> gue (yup thats the reality) meski pun gue masuk lewat pmdk umum 1, sama snmptn, all the luck that I got is totally not from my own. it's them the people behind me.

gue mau masuk kedokteran. gue mau kuliah yang fun. Call me crazy, cos yes, I'm a total crazy

gue gak pinter looh, itu adalah poin yg perlu digaris bawahi, huahaha

gw mw crita tentang temen2 yg gue temuin di sini, di fakultas kedokteran UNAIR, orang orangnya antik, dan gak semua orang itu sama

hri pertama kuliah: pulang jam 11-an. gue ma anak2 cari makan. trus akhirnya makan di quik chicken


hari kedua kuliah: plg jam 11-an jugak. gue ma anak2 makan di soto tapak siring, terus lanjut ke delta foto-foto plus makan j.cool

hr ke tiga: kita karaokean di nav, terus gue sm ayuk nongkrong di kampus B, ketemu erlina sih, soalnya ktnya dy mw pnjem karier gw, sempet masuk ke FEB juga loh, gara2 kita pengen tau dalemnya, mana melongo kaya org bego gak tau jalan (qta emang gak tau jalan siiih)

 hari keempat kuliah: plg jam 11-an jugak. anak2 makan di mie pangsit gajah mada. ke bursa aesculap. WMR. wawancara medspin. wp KPLA. trus gue rapat panitia halalbihalal. plgnya malem bgt plis deh.

 hari ke lima : KIAS smpe jam 3. Halal bihalal smpe jam 10. kaki gue berasa jebol

hari ke enam: hr ini ada WMR lagee. males bgt tp wis kadung bayar-eee. ada kreatinin jugak. huh. mana senin PBL lagi.


intinya aq ketemu org2 asik di FK, yg nemenin gue menggila, hari 1-4. parah banget masak, hang out nya setiap harii siiih, kantong bisa jebool niih, tp gapapa, biar kul qta fun, kul jalan hav fun jalan kpanitiaan jalan smua senaaang

Call It The story about death

Seminggu menjelang lebaran ini agak nya berbeda dari biasanya. Memang seperti biasa banyak parcel dikirim ke rumah kami, bahkan karangan bunga. Tapi sayang, tulisan yang tertera diatas nya bukan selamat hari kemenangan, bukan selamat hari raya idul fitri
Innanilahi wa innailaihi rajiun

Lebaran kali ini tanpa kehadirannya.

Mbah uti telah Ia panggil, orang yang selalu menanyaiku “nak ega udah mau berangkat sekolah?” setiap pagi itu telah pulang ke sisiNya

Pertemuanku terakhir dengannya pun demikian. Kalimat itu masih terngiang ditelingaku, namun bukan dengan background rumah kami, tapi dengan background ruang ICCU IRD doktersoetomo. Kita berbincang selama 3 menit, dan ketika aku bilang aku akan pamit keluar karena menjenguk pasien tidak boleh ber-ramai-ramai dan aku harus bergantian dengan om tanteku, ia berkata “nak ega udah mau berangkat ta?”

IAM: someone who refuses to grow up

PPKMB 2010, me at Fakultas Ilmu Budaya
Ospek mungkin salah satu ajang mempertemukan aku dan teman-teman SMPku yang sudah lama tidak bertemu, pertemuan bodoh, namun penuh arti
“kamu fakultas apa ga?” tanya teman SMPku
“Kedokteran, kamu?”
“aku FKM, wah enak yaaa, ntar kan bisa bedah-bedah mayat gitu” ujarnya polos “asyik nyaa, apalagi kalo udah urusan ada darah-darahnya gitu”
Me: “gila, gitu dibilang asyik”
“aku malah suka lho kayak gitu” ujarnya lagi “asyik”

Kamu benar benar bodoh, apa jaringan otakmu sudah karatan ha? Menurutmu semua itu asyik? Lucu? Atau kamu nggak punya otak?
 

ME, YOU VS THE WORLD

IT WAS jutst like an hour ago my highschool friend anja, popped up a tweet about her blog and encouraged me to fill in my empty trashy blog which I created a log time ago but never get the chance to write WHAT-YOU-SO-CALLED-WRITING--> haha lol. just blame my braindeadcells of creativity mind-

- give-thatisnoneofmyfault-looks *wink

so all thanks to anja woken up my passion to write again lol --and be my 1st follower--
(follower kan artinya pengikut, brarti anja pengikutku dong?-udahkayaksektesesat-) so this is gonnabe my first post
I'm a soontobe 18y.o girl yet to be woman, and this is not my thought, okay-dont u already forget that my creativity brain doesnt work lately- it's just a quote, a quote from a movie which my friends call a trash, yet I watched it anyway, and love the novel behind it. It's ECLIPSE from TWILIGHT SAGA.